Trying to bring witty back.

So, I haven't exactly been feeling witty. I'm trying to get out of the "funk" I've been in and made a little progress in the car today. I was thinking about all the funny things I've heard, been told or seen. Some you'll get and some you won't.

Here goes:

Child: (Holding craft made at school of a groundhog popping out of a cup) "Happy New Year!"

Cashier: (Scanning some "fix your wrinkles" face cream) "Have you used this before?"

Lady: "Yes"

Cashier: (Checking out lady's face) "Does it work?"

Lady: "Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, . . . Blah, Blah, Blah . . .

Man: "So does she have a thing for men in uniform or what?"

Mom: "How'd you do on that quiz?"

Child: "I missed 4"

Mom: "So that's like a 60?"

Child: "Yes"

Mom: "I guess your way didn't work. Today you'll do it my way. Think you've learned a lesson?"

Child: "Ok, yes. Can we stop talking about it?"

Mom: "No. I like this subject."

Child: "Ok, but don't tell Daddy"

Mom: "Oh, I'm not telling Daddy. You are."

Lady: "You have an eye appointment at 4 on Monday."

Man: "In the afternoon?"

Lady: "Um, what's the alternative?"

Man: "I have to go back to the dentist."

Lady: "Do you have a cavity? What's that 2 or 3?"

Man: "It's 3, but I don't think it's really a cavity. "

Lady: "It's ok, welcome to the dark side."