The elk river will never be the same.

Ben has been wanting to take the kids outside away from TV, Nintendo DS, toys, etc.  He suggested canoeing and that's just what he got for Father's Day.  I planned a "little" 2 mile trip down the Elk River.  Let me add that I organized this trip, which is close to Fayetteville, around picking up his truck on our way home.   I'm all for a party.  The more the merrier.   I decided to invite my father(remember the Big Nasty) and my sister(Robin - you probably recall her being mentioned in previous stories) and her family.  I arrange for 4 canoes at 9AM Saturday morning.  The canoe rental place is about 1 hour 10 minutes from our house - 40 minutes from Dad's house.  In other words, we need to leave by 7:30AM(to include a stop at McDonald's) to be on the road from Dad's house by 8:15.  Not really early for us, but definitely early for Dad on a Saturday.  When we pick up Dad, he is on his porch waiting with a roll of paper towels to take.  He's travelled with us before!  We finally arrive at the Elk River Canoe Rental with about 5 minutes to spare.  I must admit I was getting a little concerned that our driver and co-pilot weren't going to get us there since they were talking so much and we didn't have Dad's GPS with us.  Let me give you the sights and smells of this place.  We park in this big once a pasture kind of place along with several other people. My father pops out and begins his smoking regimen.   I don't see a building.  There are big white no seat belt type vans with trailers of canoes.  I still don't see a building.  There are a couple of big dirty dogs laying around(my kids plus Erin pet them all).  Where is the building?  Someone that seems like he might be in charge is giving the weather forecast to include rain and hail to arrive at noon.  The man disappears, I'm guessing to the building and the other group decides to camp today and paddle 6 miles tomorrow, instead of 7 today, 7 tomorrow.  Aren't we possibly going to get wet anyway?  Bring on the canoes.  Ben and Stephen start filling out papers which I'm hoping were some kind of safety for the family papers.  They disappear(building?)and finally reappear with life jackets.  Robin takes the older kids to the bathroom.  I don't think mine really go because they are so mortified by the spiders and webs and the possibility that something could come up out of the toilet and bite them.  They aren't used to the outdoors and  becoming one with nature.    We load up in the big white vans and head to our point of entry.   Once there we all prepare ourselves, which includes a final cigarette and the fitting of life jackets.  Erin, Hayden and Spencer get loaded first.  Next is Ally, Owen and Dad.  Dad is steering.(is that what you call it in a canoe?).  I'm up next - Ben first, then the boys, then me.   Robin, John and Stephen are last.  Did I mention there were signs all over the place about this being a "STRESS-FREE" zone?  Somebody should have told Caleb about the signs.  He screamed the first 5 minutes.  Once we were on our way, everybody started relaxing and enjoying the scenery.  Words cannot describe the laughter I felt when boat #2(Dad,Ally,Owen) needed to have a position change.  Owen and Ally were trading places so Ally could have a chance to paddle.  She had been sitting down in the middle of the canoe while Owen and Dad paddled.  She was anxious to get in on the action.  The kids did a great job staying low and moving slowly.  I really thought(and Dad did too) they were toast - but they kept it slow and steady.  After a little while, Joshua started getting a little too into the canoe thing and wanted to paddle - by himself and standing up.  Ben was in charge of Caleb and I got Joshua.  We fought over the paddle for a while and then decided that Boat #2 needed it.  Especially after Dad had given Ally and Owen control over the canoe and they ran up onto a branch of a tree.  He was trying to get in a couple of smokes even though we told him Smokey the Bear was watching.  The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful except for Robin and her parasol and the big kids stopping so Spencer could take a potty break.  We "landed" and some of the kids jumped in the water even though it was extremely cold.  Once back at the cars we had a little snack and changed our clothes.  We loaded up and headed out to find lunch with Robin and Stephen in the lead.  They picked Sonic.  I like Sonic.  Ben likes Sonic.  The kids like Sonic.  Dad doesn't really have a "happy" expression on his face but decides to try it.  Yes, my Father has never had Sonic.  I think it would have been a better experience for him if we had stopped him from going into the bathrooms.  You had to walk through the kitchen to get to them.   I'm pretty sure grease is the main ingredient in most items at Sonic.  We eat, visit, Dad declares Sonic an "Ed-Free" zone and we load up to leave.  We stop in Fayetteville to pick up the truck, drop Dad off in Hazel Green and return to Madison.

I hope this was the "family, outdoor, stress-free" Father's day present everybody wanted.  I think I'll stick with the Mommy Spa for Mother's day, but I would love to go canoeing on another day!